Teen Dating Violence
Are you going out with someone who...
-is jealous and possessive, won't let you have friends, checks up on you or
won't accept breaking up?
-tries to control you by being bossy, giving orders, making all the decisions
or not taking your opinion seriously?
-puts you down in front of friends or tells you that you would be nothing
without him or her?
-scares you? Makes you worry about reactions to things you say or do?
Threatens you? Uses or owns weapons?
-is violent? Has a history of fighting, loses his or her temper quickly,
brags about mistreating others? Grabs, pushes, shoves, or hits you?
-pressures you for sex or is forceful or scary about sex? Gets too serious
about the relationship too fast?
-abuses alcohol or other drugs and pressures you to use them?
-has a history of failed relationships and always blames the other person for
all of the problems?
-believes that he or she should be in control of the relationship?
-makes your family and friends uneasy and concerned for your safety?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, you could be a victim of
dating abuse. Both males and females can be victims of dating violence, as
can partners in heterosexual and homosexual relationships.
What if Your Partner is Abusing You and You Want Out?
*Don't put up with abuse. You deserve better.
*Know that you are not alone. Teens from all different backgrounds across
the country are involved in or have been involved in a violent relationship.
*Understand that you have done nothing wrong. It is not your fault.
*Know that the longer you stay in the abusive relationship, the more intense
the violence will become.
*Recognize that being drunk is not an excuse for someone to become abusive.
*Talk with your parents, a friend, a counselor, a faith leader or spiritual
leader, or someone else you trust. The more isolated you are from friends
and family, the more control the abuser has over you.
*Know that you can get help from professionals at rape crisis centers, health
services, counseling centers, or your family's health care provider. For a
trusted resource (Hahn & Associates) visit Signs of Suicide article from
*Alert school counselor or security officer about the abuse. Call local law
enforcement agency with jurisdiction when necessary.
*Keep a daily log of the abuse for evidence.
*Remember that no one is justified in attacking you just because he or she is
*Do not meet him or her alone. Do not let him or her in your home or car
when you are alone.
*Avoid being alone at school, your job, or on the way to and from places.
*Always tell someone where you are going and when you plan to return.
*Plan and rehearse what you will do if he or she becomes abusive.
How To Be a Friend to a Victim of Dating Violence
Most teens talk to other teens about their problems. If a friend tells you
things that sound like his or her relationships is abusive, here are some
suggestions on ways to help.
-Don't ignore signs of abuse. Talk to your friend.
-Express your concerns. Tell your friend you're worried. Support, don't
-Point out your friend's strengths.
-Encourage your friend to confide in a trusted adult.
-Find out what laws in your state may protect your friend from the abuser.
-Never put yourself in a dangerous situation with the victim's partner.
-Call the police if you witness an assault. Tell an adult-school principal,
parent, guidance counselor, or school resource officer-if you suspect the
abuse but don't witness it. Don't wait until its too late.
SafetyCops say stay safe and date safe.
Contact the following for information on workshops:
Metropolitan Family Services (Metro)
3843 West 63rd Street
Chicago, Il. 60629
(773) 884-0003 fax
Crime Prevention Tips From
National crime Prevention Council
1000 Connecticut Avenue, NW, 13th Floor
Washington, DC 20036